1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,795 ? It seems today that all you see ? 2 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:08,174 ? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ? 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:11,886 ? But where are those good old-fashioned values ? 4 00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:14,472 ? On which we used to rely? ? 5 00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:18,309 ? Lucky there's a family guy ? 6 00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,604 ? Lucky there's a man who positively can do ? 7 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,189 ? All the things that make us ? 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,024 ? Laugh and cry ? 9 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:30,155 ? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ? 10 00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:35,409 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,918 Happy Halloween, kids! 12 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,545 Happy Halloween! 13 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,297 Look, it's Matt Foley from Saturday Night Live. 14 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,967 I don't know who that is. I just came from a meeting at work. 15 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,260 Oh, good. Peter, you're home. 16 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,803 You can help me pass out candy. 17 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,430 Sorry, Lois, I have to go do a dangerous speedball 18 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,850 and become the least surprising death in Hollywood history. 19 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,650 Happy Halloween, Meg. 20 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:11,028 Wow, Mayor West. That's some costume. 21 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,530 Well, thank you kindly. 22 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,657 It-a me, Borat. 23 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,867 You know, from that picture Borat. 24 00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,411 You ever seen it? 25 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,913 Yeah, that movie came out, like, 15 years ago. 26 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,540 Well, I'd never heard of it, 27 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:25,501 but it was just about the funniest thing I'd ever seen. 28 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,503 Anyway, have a good evening. 29 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,672 My wife. 30 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,136 "This is my costume"? 31 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,846 Come on, put in some effort. 32 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,599 Guys, just 'cause you showed up, doesn't mean you get an apple. 33 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,726 - Apple. - We're here for candy! 34 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,185 Kill yourself! 35 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,229 There's a lot of sugar in an apple! 36 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,273 If you saw the numbers, you'd be shocked! 37 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,858 Trick or treat! 38 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:52,194 Wow, that's the first Frozen I've seen in 35 seconds. 39 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,280 Oh, my God, I love your pilot costume. 40 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,699 Thank you. I'm actually John Travolta walking 41 00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,618 into my backyard airport in Florida 42 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,620 to fly a passenger jet all by myself. 43 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,997 That's right, I'm just a regular guy. 44 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,373 Your daughter is adorable. 45 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,417 Oh, she's not my daughter. She's my niece. 46 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:08,044 My sister and her husband ran into someone 47 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:11,172 having an adult Halloween party and didn't have an excuse ready. 48 00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,423 Oh, I'm so sorry. 49 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,175 Yeah, it was really tough for them, 50 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,302 but I said earlier, "I'm not gonna cry," 51 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,429 so I'm not gonna cry. 52 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,556 And hi. My name's Carrie. 53 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,600 Hi, Carrie. My name is Glenn. 54 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,602 It's really nice talking to you, Glenn. 55 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:27,897 - You, too, Carrie. - Hey! Candy! 56 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,899 Hey, Brian, check it out! 57 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:35,196 This might be my biggest candy score ever. 58 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:37,198 Probably thanks to my killer costume. 59 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,532 What are you dressed as? 60 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,119 I'm the "Oh, my God" reaction GIF. 61 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,374 And people get that? 62 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,084 Yeah. Everyone's dressed as GIFs. 63 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,086 Ain't that right, Pop? 64 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,678 Wow. This place is great, Glenn. 65 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,680 Yeah, they can really microwave eggs here. 66 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,057 You know, I'm so glad you trick-or-treated at my house. 67 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,475 I finally found someone 68 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,936 I can just say names from Succession with. 69 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,729 I mean, oh, my God, Kendall? 70 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,565 - Kendall! And Shiv? - Love Shiv. 71 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,193 - And what about Roman? - Yes! 72 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,695 And Logan. 73 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,446 Oh, Logan. 74 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,823 Oh, look at that dog. 75 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,783 Yeah, who brings a dog to a coffee shop? 76 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,536 - I love dogs. - Without letting me pet it. 77 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,996 Come here, you... dog. 78 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,998 Oh, isn't he so sweet? 79 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,667 Oh, good boy. 80 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,794 Yay, my hand smells like you now. 81 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,964 Oh, I'm so happy you're a dog person. 82 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,549 I don't think I could be with someone 83 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,259 who doesn't love dogs as much as I do. 84 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,802 Yeah, it's great we like the same things 85 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,303 as soon as you say what you like. 86 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,264 So, what kind of dog do you have? 87 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,433 Well, uh, uh, what kind of dog? 88 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,435 Um... you know, I-I've never noticed. 89 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,562 I... I'm... I'm more attracted to his spirit. 90 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,313 Oh, they're so special. 91 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,857 And you know what's right around the corner? 92 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,025 The strip club where they spit in your face? 93 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,694 No, the dog park! 94 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,779 For our next date, we should bring our dogs there. 95 00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,740 Next date? Absolutely. 96 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,242 - Oh, and cousin Greg! - Cousin Greg! 97 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,704 Cousin Greg. 98 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,542 Phew, that tummy time was killer. 99 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,335 Totally blasted my core. 100 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,254 But I think that earns me a little treat. 101 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,964 What the deuce? 102 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,632 This bag was full last night, 103 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,217 and now half of it's gone. 104 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,053 Oh, my God, I've been robbed! 105 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,393 Rupert, check the jewelry box, see if anything's missing. 106 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,312 "An engagement ring"? 107 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,022 Oh, ha-ha, very funny, but not the time 108 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,484 to have this conversation... We've been burgled! 109 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,945 Well, looks like they only stole some of my Halloween candy. 110 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,655 But they're not going to get away with this. 111 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,741 Like the fat man when he plays Clue. 112 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,951 Okay, the murderer was "don't care," 113 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,328 with a "this game sucks" 114 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,330 in the "I regret having children." 115 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:52,208 Clue... you got someone pregnant nine years ago, 116 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,586 so now you have to play this. 117 00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,008 Thanks for coming with me, Peter. 118 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,301 I need a dog for my date, 119 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,719 but I don't know the first thing about 'em. 120 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,596 No problem, Quagmire. But just know 121 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,306 I'm gonna spend most of the time here 122 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,683 finding the courage to hold an iguana. 123 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,935 Here he is. 124 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,395 I'm not sure I'm ready! 125 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,482 Uh, excuse me, how much is that one? 126 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,526 Oh, he's a purebred Bichon Frise, 127 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,569 so he's $1,500. 128 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,489 For a dog?! Um, and-and what's your return policy? 129 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,783 Is it, like, full money back within ten days? 130 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,910 Sir, if you're not interested, I have to comb feces 131 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,287 out of the guinea pigs' hair with a wet paper towel. 132 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,832 Go ahead, you can touch him. 133 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,961 It's dry. 134 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,131 Sorry we couldn't get you a dog. 135 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,592 Come on in, we'll have however many beers it takes 136 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,719 to forget how depressing the shelter was. 137 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,139 I'll go get those aforementioned beers. 138 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,226 Thanks, word-a-day calendar. 139 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:56,397 Oh, hey, Quagmire. 140 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,107 Mm. 141 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,567 I mean, mmm, there he is! 142 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,569 Brian the dog! 143 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,863 What's going on here? Why are you using my full name? 144 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,823 All right, let's cut to the chase. 145 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,241 I like chases. 146 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,868 Okay, look, I'm seeing this woman, 147 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,786 and there's something different about her. 148 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,330 I mean, it's not just that the sex is great, which it is, 149 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,249 but I appreciate her as a person, 150 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,710 which sounds kind of weird coming out of my mouth. 151 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:20,337 Anyway, I told her I have a dog, so... 152 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,381 would you pretend to be my dog? 153 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,596 Well, well, well. 154 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,265 Well, well, well. 155 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:34,685 Well, well, well. 156 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,854 Brian, come on, I'm serious. Will you help me out? 157 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,480 Glenn Quagmire, there are not enough 158 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,149 tennis balls in the world for me to... 159 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,527 - I have six. - I'll do it. 160 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,745 Thanks for doing this, Brian. 161 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,330 And remember, just act like a normal, 162 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,123 well-behaved, non-talking dog. 163 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,459 - Non-talking? - Yeah, just bark and stuff. 164 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,502 Bark? Geez, it's been a while. 165 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,921 Let me give it a try. 166 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,130 Brack. 167 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,840 "Brack"? What the hell is that? 168 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,467 - I'm finding it. - Damn it, Brian! 169 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:07,801 I knew you were gonna screw this up for me. 170 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,178 I thought you wanted to help. 171 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,513 "Help"? I'm not doing this because I want to help. 172 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,557 I'm only doing this so I can have a front-row seat 173 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,184 when you crash and burn. 174 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,852 Okay, first of all, it's incredibly insensitive 175 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,188 to say "crash and burn" to a pilot. 176 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,564 And, second, how dare you? 177 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,733 How dare you, Brian the dog? 178 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,735 You know I'm right... you're gonna get tired of the sex, 179 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,403 and then you'll move on to the next one. 180 00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:27,738 Oh, 'cause you know everything, right? 181 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:28,948 Well, you're wrong, Brian. 182 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,574 Okay, shut up, here she comes. 183 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,910 Hi, Glenn. This is Dexter. 184 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,371 Aw, and who's this little guy? 185 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,332 Uh, uh, this is... Harvey. 186 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,292 Named after Weinstein, uh... 187 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,504 'C-Cause you can see his balls when he answers the door. 188 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,881 I may be dating myself, but in the '90s, 189 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,384 the funniest thing you could do was show people your balls. 190 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,761 C-Can you start talking now, please? 191 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,388 Sorry, I couldn't hear you 192 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,847 'cause my dog was licking my ear. 193 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,392 Oh, thank God. This is my dog, Bob... 194 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,768 Weinstein. 195 00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,061 He's man's best friend 196 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,688 because he's very good at keeping quiet. 197 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,107 Do you mind if I take five minutes in the parking lot? 198 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,735 This is Spot. 199 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,074 All right, Rupert, when the thief comes back 200 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,200 for the rest of my candy, 201 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:15,495 he'll have to deal with my latest invention. 202 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,372 Hey, Stewie, what are you d... 203 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,624 Aah! Help! Somebody help me! 204 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,043 I won't survive on the inside! 205 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,379 Thief! I've caught you! 206 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,214 Chris? 207 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,632 Stewie, get off. 208 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,342 I haven't been stealing your candy. 209 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,594 - Dad has. - The fat man? 210 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,930 He did the same thing to me when I was younger. 211 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:38,017 The only way to keep him away from it is to hide it. 212 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,644 And that's why I'm here. I'm gonna help you. 213 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,938 Really? You'd do that for me? 214 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,315 Of course, Stewie. We're family. 215 00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,692 We look out for each other, 216 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,819 like the people on Succession. 217 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,447 Well, don't leave me hanging like that... throw out a name! 218 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,615 - Tom. - Oh, Tom! 219 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,744 Can you believe Tom? 220 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,998 Carrie's gonna be here soon. Can you give me a hand getting 221 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,709 - this cat stuff out of here? - Where is your cat, anyway? 222 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,878 I don't know. No cat owner knows where their cat is. 223 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,504 Okay, but I still don't know why 224 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,048 you're going through all this trouble. 225 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,924 I mean, you're just gonna bail and leave her in the dust. 226 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,343 - Hey, how's your son, Brian? - Whoa! 227 00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,888 What happened to DEFCON four, three, and two? 228 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,222 Okay, she's here. 229 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,225 Get off the couch. 230 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,770 - Who is it? - It's The Purge. 231 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,022 We're here to beat you up. 232 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,110 Coming up, one pizza with alternative crust. 233 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,904 Oh! Yummy, yummy! 234 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,865 Alternative crust pizza is really good, Brian. 235 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,617 You can't taste the difference. 236 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,577 What aren't you lying to yourself about? 237 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,245 Okay, you want to know the truth, Brian? 238 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,081 Brian the dog? I love her. 239 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,833 You hear me? Love. 240 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,502 This is priceless. 241 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,753 I haven't had this much fun 242 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,380 since I went to that graveyard. 243 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,717 Yeah, how do you like how this sounds, huh? 244 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,762 Try cleaning up this mess while you burn in hell! 245 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,139 - Peter, you ready to go? - Almost! 246 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,391 What do you mean you don't like that? 247 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,728 Just try it, maybe you will! 248 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,857 Thanks again for having us over, Lois. 249 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,484 Everything was so delicious. 250 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,402 Oh, my pleasure, Carrie. 251 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,154 Yeah, I've got to say, Glenn, 252 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,490 I've never seen you this happy before. 253 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,284 Well, then you've never seen me at my best before. 254 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,496 And it's all thanks to Carrie. 255 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,456 Aw, not at the dinner table. 256 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,667 I'm sorry, Peter, I just can't help myself. 257 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,418 I'm crazy about this woman. 258 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,508 Huh? 259 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,893 - "Will you marry me?" - What's this now? 260 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:48,355 Oh, my God, Glenn, yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you! 261 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,023 Mmm... 262 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,233 Mazel tov! 263 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,277 "Mazel tov"? Where did that come from? 264 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:57,156 From Marvelous Mrs. Mazel Tov. Y-you should know that, Lois. 265 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,575 Mmm. 266 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,788 Engaged?! 267 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:07,833 Aw, come on, Quagmire, you're killing me, man. 268 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,334 Babe, babe, please... Babe, please stop crying. 269 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,254 Look, every couple needs to take things at their own speed. 270 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,590 It doesn't mean I love you any less. 271 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,634 Okay, look... how about we look at rings this weekend? 272 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,469 I-I don't know. Zales, probably? 273 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,598 Well, that's what we can afford since only one of us has a job! 274 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,932 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 275 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,475 Ugh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. 276 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,729 "Why don't you join me for dinner?" he said, 277 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,732 ruining his life. 278 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,283 There he is, the bridegroom to be. 279 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:44,286 That's right, the very happy bridegroom to be, 280 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,663 singing to himself. ? Dat da dat dee ? 281 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,081 ? Da dee dee, da dee dee. ? 282 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,750 Oh, come on, give it up. 283 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,501 You're out of moves. Checkmate. 284 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,170 Hi, honey, we're home. 285 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,880 Will you help me move in his dog food, 286 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,425 like we're preparing for a flood? 287 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,094 Dexter eats all this? 288 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,347 Not just Dexter, but Dexter and all 289 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,890 his rescue brothers and sisters. 290 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,100 Oh, my God, how many are there? 291 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:10,520 Hmm, enough to do a slow pan with music from Airplane. 292 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:28,163 Is-is that one just a back half? 293 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,083 Oh, Backsy? Yeah. She's a fighter. 294 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,210 Well, maybe she should stop fightin'. 295 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,087 Okay, I'm gonna go bring in all their meds, 296 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,422 and then I'll set the 19 different feeding alarms 297 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,800 on your phone. Mm. 298 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,051 Shut up! 299 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,302 I didn't say a word. 300 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,930 I'm just... I'm just thrilled you're getting 301 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,556 all the happiness you deserve. 302 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,976 I am happy. Parade magazine says 303 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,561 owning a dog is the secret to having a happy life. 304 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,230 You read Parade magazine? 305 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,399 If you know a better magazine for ordering plates 306 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,734 with people's faces on them, I would like to hear about it. 307 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:02,406 Hey, babe, was the Princess Diana plate important? 308 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,575 Brian, can you hand me that Parade magazine, 309 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:08,662 that envelope, that stamp and that checkbook? 310 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:10,915 Thank you. 311 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,335 Who are we waiting for, Chris? 312 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,878 I called in some professionals. 313 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,840 They're gonna take us somewhere Dad'll never find your candy. 314 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,050 - And where's that? - I can't say. 315 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,969 There are ears everywhere. 316 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,887 Good morning, Mr. Feldman. 317 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,098 Morning, Chris. Couldn't help but overhear 318 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,975 you're off on a little trip. 319 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,020 Never mind about that, Mr. Feldman. 320 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,480 - See? - I could hear that. 321 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,151 Get in. 322 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,785 You know, I should really be in a backwards-facing car seat. 323 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,413 They're now saying kids through eight 324 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,207 should at least be in a booster seat. 325 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,918 - You have any kids? - Don't make small talk with these guys. 326 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,128 No, no, it's all right. 327 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,796 It's nice to have someone ask for a change. 328 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,424 Yes, I have four children, all dead. 329 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,842 Ah. 330 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,015 Well, here we are. 331 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:13,101 Quick, hide your candy in the tree. 332 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,603 Is this our backyard? 333 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:18,024 Yes. But we couldn't take a chance of being followed. 334 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,996 Son of a... I'm pinching and lifting. 335 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,390 Oh! 336 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,934 Hey, if you're making coffee, I'll have a... 337 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,227 Whoa, kind of a mess in here. 338 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,104 It's fine. Everything is fine. 339 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,814 I'm happy and in love. 340 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,108 Damn it, Brian, did you leave the doggy gate open? 341 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,443 No, no, no, stop it. 342 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,404 Peppy, you're allergic to Frankie's food. 343 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,030 Malcolm, stop humping your brother. 344 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,198 Backsy, outside! 345 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,533 Babe, can you give me a hand 346 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:10,700 moving my furniture 347 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,412 all around the room until I find a place I like for it? 348 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,539 Kind of in the middle of something, babe! 349 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,707 Ah, the seven-hour itch. 350 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,376 Shut up, Brian. Why don't you go for a walk? 351 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,919 No, no, no, no, no. 352 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,087 No walk. No walk. No, no. 353 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,630 We're not going for a walk. 354 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,758 I gotta stop saying "walk." I said walk again. And there again. 355 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,094 Honey, I want to make a stir-fry tonight. 356 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,804 Have we unpacked the wok? 357 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,056 No, no, w-O-K. 358 00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,142 W-O-K. She said wok! 359 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,102 She said wok. 360 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,981 She said wok... 361 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:57,164 My candy, it's all gone. 362 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,166 Even my West Hollywood candy. 363 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:02,294 My Twinx bar. My very Milky Way. 364 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,045 My Reese's Penis. 365 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:06,214 Who's done this to me? 366 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:09,343 Who's taken candy from a baby? 367 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,102 Well, we did it. Cheers. 368 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,271 We sure did, Chris. 369 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,648 - Cool iguana. - He's dry. 370 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,233 I named him Arid. 371 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,529 Thank you, word-a-day calendar, travel edition. 372 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,289 Just met some of Carrie's friends. 373 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,708 They are very excited for her. 374 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,503 - Well, they should be. - Well, they should be. 375 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,921 And they are. 376 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,924 Anyway, expectations are high. 377 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,053 Thank you, everyone, for coming to our engagement party. 378 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:55,347 And an extra thanks to my airline buddies 379 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,556 for organizing it. 380 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,059 Uh, folks, our party time tonight is 381 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,186 two hours and 48 minutes. 382 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,729 We know you have lots of choices 383 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,774 for terrible weekend activities, and we hope to see you soon 384 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:09,152 on an inconvenient weekend for their destination wedding, 385 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:12,697 which I hear is on a Thursday in Lisbon, Portugal. 386 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,990 - That's so far. - Come on! 387 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,367 Yep. Yep. 388 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,327 It's been wonderful meeting all of Carrie's family 389 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,287 and friends. 390 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,790 I only wish you were all wearing nametags. 391 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,334 Isn't he adorable? 392 00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,044 My expectations are high. 393 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,213 You know, I first met Carrie and her niece 394 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,257 a couple of weeks ago on Halloween. 395 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,343 Thank God they decided to take that walk. 396 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,929 And now we're headed down the aisle; 397 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,514 a very different kind of walk. 398 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,018 And, Carrie, if I may borrow a line 399 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,436 from our favorite song, 400 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,356 I would walk 500 miles... 401 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:50,444 Stampede! 402 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,726 - Isn't he adorable? - He loves those dogs. 403 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:25,896 I'm hearing a lot of good things about that guy. 404 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,065 That's it. 405 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,734 Glenn, are you okay? 406 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,110 No, I'm not okay. 407 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,070 I thought I could do this, but I can't. 408 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,864 I've been lying to you, 409 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,616 and I've been lying to myself. 410 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,159 There's something you need to know. 411 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,119 I hate dogs. 412 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:46,082 Uh, this party has begun its initial descent. 413 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,334 That's not even my dog. 414 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,337 That's Brian, my neighbor's dog. He can talk. 415 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,755 Brian, say something. 416 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,298 - Brack. - Bite me. 417 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,675 Glenn... I can't believe this. 418 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,428 So you don't like dogs, that's fine. 419 00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:02,140 But you didn't have to lie and put me through all of this. 420 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,185 Good-bye, Glenn. 421 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,774 Uh, folks, please use caution as you exit the party 422 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,526 as some of your feelings may have shifted. 423 00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,362 Well, well, well. 424 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,323 Save it, Brian. I'll concede that you were right. 425 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,033 But you know what? So was I. 426 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,451 Dogs are the worst. 427 00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,204 And I'm coming for you, Brian the dog. 428 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,081 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, 429 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,874 But one day. 430 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,167 Maybe tomorrow. 431 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,044 And when that day comes, you're gonna say, 432 00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,588 ooh, Glenn got me good. 433 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,049 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a walk. 434 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,052 Brack? 435 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:43,265 Oh, no. Stay... 436 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,312 You're coming back, though, right? 437 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,612 Hey, Brian, I was just over talking to Quagmire, 438 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,239 and he thought you might want to take a look 439 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,407 at my new screenplay. 440 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,118 - Oh, I-I don't really, uh... - It's called Ocean's 1. 441 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,912 Between you and me, I can't believe nobody's done it before, 442 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,331 to say nothing of Ocean's 2 through 7. 443 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,625 Yeah, I-I could, uh, take a look, sure. 444 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,168 It's a little long right now. 445 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,920 It's about 430 pages. 446 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:18,217 I have my "all is lost" moment on page 389, thereabouts. 447 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,011 Quagmire! 448 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:25,640 Now, if'n you don't know, most Hollywood screenplays 449 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,560 wrap up at around 110 pages. 450 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:32,188 And if'n it's a comedy, why, you want it in the 90s. 451 00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:35,775 Anyway, they said I could have these last few seconds 452 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:38,695 to mention something near and dear to me. 453 00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:42,449 So, men, don't be afraid to have the doctor 454 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,368 put a camera up your old saddle masher. 455 00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:47,912 They knock you out now, and it's a good way 456 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:51,458 to make sure there's no bad beans in your mess wagon. 457 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,794 We hope you've enjoyed the Family Guy.